Besides journal spamming...

I compare myself too much to others, my art, my success, the amount of praise I get, all of it.

I see someone with similar skill get more attention and even praise from some of my favorite artists and, I won't lie, I do get envious, I get jealous. I do this so much I clog my head up with standards for myself that are too high, and surprise, I get sad when I don't reach them. I don't end up doing things at my own pace and overall, it slows me down a lot, it stops me from drawing because that annoying little voice in the back of my head keeps saying "You HAVE to be better! Get noticed!".

I won't hide this but I've started caring too much about views and watchers to the point where I need to draw something or everyone one will get bored and never bat an eye at me, I'll just be ignored like I've always been afraid to be. I don't need to improve overnight, I can do that at my own pace, I can draw what I want, not what others want.

I do want to improve, I would like to inspire others, and yes, I would like to be praised for my art, but these things don't happen overnight. Everyone learns at their own pace, so I need to stop comparing myself to others. It did frustrate me a lot to see someone else improve faster than I, I used to always think "why can't I do that?", and then I try and try and try and feel sorry for myself when it doesn't work for me.

It's a nasty habit I've had for a long time, I mean, who know when I'll become the great artist I want to be, but it isn't overnight. To do this requires a lot of patience, something I don't have unfortunately, but I want to try my best and stop this bad habit.

I put a lot of pressure on myself and I need to dial it back a considerable amount. I learn at my own pace, I draw what I want and if I don't get the amount of praise others get, why should I care? If someone likes my art then great, if someone ignores me, then I don't really need them do I?

This is a revelation that dawned on me thanks to a very good friend who said to me:
"You need more faith in yourself, put more effort into your passions if you must, there isn't anything wrong with that. We all do it with something, but don't base your progress on the progress of other people. Nobody is the same and it'll only force you to go in a direction you were not meant to go."
You know who you are, and thank you for explaining it to me.

I need to stop comparing myself to other artists, it MY art. If it isn't as good or doesn't receive as much praise then why get worked up over it? As long as I keep drawing, I'll reach the goals I have for myself, it will all pay off in the future, the key is to never stop.